I’m a firm believer that sexuality is fluid. There’s no right answer all the time of what you are, who you love, and what you like is always subject to change. I think that in our society, we are so in love with labels that we get so caught up in them, and then when someone decides they want to change, people are really taken aback by this.
Funny story, when I first started really thinking about my sexuality, I always thought I was Pans. After reading about it and understanding that there is more than just gay, straight, and bisexual, I was very sure of myself. But when you live in a somewhat small town, where everybody knows everybody – for the most part – and sexuality isn’t talked about much at all, let alone anything other than the “main” three, it’s hard to think of yourself outside of anything other than gay, straight, or bisexual.
So I just told everyone I was bi. And I guess, that’s partly true. But after a while, I started telling people I was gay because people couldn’t possibly fathom that you could “play for both teams” – so to speak. And I think that for some people, identifying as bisexual can be a stepping stone to coming out as gay. Not always, but for some. For the next four years of my life, I exclusively dated women.
Now that I’m in college, I’m no longer in a serious, long-term relationship, and my experiences have broadened, I’m definitely more comfortable with the fact that I am pansexual. I’m sure so many people don’t even know what that means, and that’s okay! To a certain extent, that’s what I’m here for. But just for the record, there is so much more to the LGBTQ+ community than just the LGBTQ’s of them all. Hense, the plus.
The dictionary definition of pansexual says, “not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.” Basically, I could care less what’s in your pants, what type of pants you want to wear, or what pants you want to get into. If you have a cool personality that I can vibe with, I’m down. I care more about who you are as a person, what your goals are, your dreams, your fears, your quirks, where you’re from, what you’re interested in than I ever will about your genitalia, your gender identity, or your sexual orientation.
I just want someone who will love me as much as I love them, who will support me and who will allow me to support them. I’m a pretty simple gal. I don’t think that my sexual orientation changes anything about who I am. Who I love is, quite frankly, nobody’s business. But I also pride myself on being transparent, being an open book, and being someone people can turn to ask questions, get advice, or just talk to.
And that’s a huge part of what I want this blog to be. I want it to be a safe place for people to ask questions without fear of judgment. I want to help educate people so that they can help educate others. I want this to be a stem for change and for acceptance and tolerance and so much more.
And it starts with me.
I got my semicolon tattoo a little over a month ago and I didn’t think I’d be ready to talk about my journey with mental illness but the moment someone asked me about what it means, I felt this huge weight be lifted off my shoulders. I felt like I was finally ready to be okay with my depression, my anxiety, and my recently diagnosed PTSD.
and a half, but it didn’t feel like that at all, and you wouldn’t believe it with the view that we had. From up there, it all just seemed so peaceful. While we were up there, it dawned on me that I fly home the following day and my heart just sank into my chest. I just took the time to reflect on my week and all that we’ve done. I want to come back soon and see all the things I didn’t see. I just want to be here.
belonged there, and that I could live there and call it home. I don’t know if anyone knows the feeling you get when you just know something feels right, like it’s exactly what you’re supposed to be doing, but walking that campus, that’s exactly what I felt. Looking at all the architecture and the people, hearing about the classes and the events, I was picturing my life as a prospective student at the school of my dreams.
When we first got there, there was a guy who was carving in the wall.
Anyways, when you first walk into the museum, there is a huge quote from Ronald, and then you walk down the hall and there is a to scale statue of Ronald and Nancy. Insert picture of me here. As you walk through the library, you just go through Ronald’s life. His family heritage, his high school life, college life, and when he started his dreams of becoming an actor. You walk through his journey on radio and his love for Nancy – which, by the way, is one incredible love. Fun fact: Ronald wrote over 720 love letters to Nancy in his life. Even after years of marriage, he wrote her endless love letters. I want that love.
The way that I thought about it was like walking through his biography. You learned about who he was as a person, as a politician, and as a husband. They had his clothes and his letters, his quote book, some of his china from the White House, anything you could think of. It was so incredible to see his life and his love.
forget that presidents are actually people, with real lives and emotions. You are
is a mural on the wall that is called The History of the Flying White House and it has paintings of all the past airplanes. Going on the actual Aircraft is something I think everyone should try to do. There are workers that stand on the plane and give you a little insight, as well as props and mannequin to give you a real feel of how the plane functioned. Fun fact: the first time the plane ever took off, it was someones birthday and there wasn’t a cake. After that, Reagan made it a point to know every birthday, anniversary, or event worth celebrating and there was always a cake on board to celebrate with. He always presented it himself, too.
