Unexpected & Inevitable Change

Going into senior year, I didn’t think that by the end of it, this is where I’d be – moving houses while also trying to move across the country, in a serious committed relationship, and moving to the east coast instead of the west.

I didn’t know what the next 4 years were going to look like and I sure as hell didn’t think I was going to end up in North Carolina, but here I am. Ready and so excited for my next chapter.

I always knew I was going to go to college. For a long time, I wanted and hoped and dreamed with every inch of my tiny body that I would be a UCLA Bruin, though in the back of my mind, I always kind of wondered if I would end up staying in Colorado. My grandpa is a die hard CU Boulder fan and I grew up going to football and basketball games almost every other week.

And yet, here I am, 2 months away from college and I’m going to the University of North Carolina at Charlotte to study Criminal Justice with a minor in Holocaust, Genocide, and Human Rights – totally not where I thought I would end up.

People ask me all the time why I chose to go 1,356 miles away from home and to be totally honest, most of the time I lie. I tell people that it’s because they have a great criminal justice program – and they do – but the first reason I chose that school is because of the girl I am so lucky to be in love with.

Some might think it’s naive to move across the country for a person that I’ve only been dating for a year, but in all honesty, I’ve never felt more ready to do something in my life. I am fully committed to Morgan and to loving her and supporting her through her lacrosse journey and I couldn’t be more excited to be in Charlotte because I love it so much. The city fits me perfectly, and that’s just an added bonus.

Going through high school, you always know it’s going to end. You count the days, you get more and more excited as you go through the years because you’re so ready to leave. Though, as it ends, it gets kind of scary. The last 4 years are all you’ve known and all you can dream about is the next chapter of your life. This change is inevitable, you can’t stay in high school forever. Even though you know what’s coming, you’ve been ready to leave since the day you walked in, there’s still this really intense feeling of anxiety and wondering what it going to happen next.

This year put me through a lot of unexpected change. My family had no idea that we were going to have to move out of a house we’ve lived in for almost 10 years, one we for sure thought would be our forever home one day. We didn’t know we were going to have to move within 60 days of finding out we can’t stay in our house and I sure as heck didn’t think that we were going to end up in a townhouse but I also wasn’t sure where we would end up at all.

After junior year, when Morgan and I started dating, we had no idea what our relationship was going to entail. I didn’t know that a week after we became exclusive that she would commit to play D1 lacrosse in South Carolina. At that time, the thought that we wanted to go to schools completely across the country from each other didn’t run through my head. I didn’t know that after a few short months together, I would know that she was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I didn’t know that the next year would have so much adventure, and fun, and love, and sadness, and twists, and turns. I didn’t know that I was ready to change my whole life for someone but when the time came, it felt like something I had to do, and I chose her without a second thought.

Change is weird. It’s foreign, it’s scary, and it can be intimidating. I’ve learned that, for the most part, I do okay with change. It’s not my favorite thing in the world but I can adapt. I’ve learned that sometimes choosing a love that you’ve never had with someone who gets you like no one has before is easier than choosing a school.

Though I didn’t get into UCLA, and to be totally honest, I wasn’t really counting on it, I think that if I had, I still would’ve chosen Morgan. I obviously can’t say for sure, but I am so beyond excited for my next chapter in Charlotte. I am so ready to follow my dreams, even if she is a human being with a cute laugh, a scrunchy nose, and a niche for weird memes and lots of naps.

I am nowhere near where I thought I would be, but I’m also not mad about it. I actually couldn’t be more ready for the fall.

 

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